Confidence is a “funny” thing isn’t it – one day you can feel cheerful, strong, vibrant and full of confidence with a spring in your step and yet another day you can feel vulnerable, weak, lethargic and really low in confidence. It can happen to anyone, even the people who seem to have boundless energy and bags of confidence will have their moments. All it takes sometimes is a spiteful comment from someone, a difficult day at work or a rejection of some sort and we can end up feeling hurt, bruised and just want to shrivel up, especially if we continue to over-think and focus on what’s just happened.
It’s strange the way you can feel confident and happy in certain environments or situations, for example when you spend time with friends or family members you trust. But, enter into a hectic or hostile workplace or situation and you can usually pick up on abrupt and unfriendly aspects of communication straight away. When you spend time with anyone who tends to exhibit controlling or aggressive behaviour, it can leave you feeling vulnerable, frustrated and even afraid, especially if it triggers emotions in you from similar experiences in the past.
Fear is something that can steal away your confidence. Worrying about what people think of you, being a perfectionist or being fearful of being treated badly by others can eat away at your resilience and self-belief. Long term fear is something that can be difficult to recognise in yourself but is often the main reason why people can’t make positive progress in their adult lives and continue to get stuck at certain points. When you haven’t developed trust and belief in yourself it is very difficult to take the steps forward that will put you into a better place, because it involves moving out of your familiar everyday comfort zone.
Building confidence and a positive mindset is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. It takes courage to make real changes in your life, even small steps can be difficult at the start but once you do, it can be so rewarding. If you want to flourish and become the best person you can be, you have to nurture yourself in many ways. Just like making a beautiful garden, seeds need to be sown, the new shoots need water, air and sunshine and the flowers need on – going care to enable them to thrive and not be taken out by the weeds!
If you want more confidence in your life, focus on yourself, reach out for help and start with small steps to improve your health, well-being and fitness. Learn new skills to enable you to feel more competent in the workplace and tackle your inner critic by supporting yourself with powerful positive thoughts that boost you forwards and help to overcome old negative ones that have simply become a self-sabotaging habit.